Sharing my approach on facing the difficult conditions of being isolated and confined during lockdown, having gathered this advice as I spent three months stranded at sea.
Check out my previous blogs about how I spent
90 Days at Sea and the amazing Crew Repatriation Efforts.
The last Latinos onboard Brilliance of The Seas, on the day we transferred onto the Liberty of the Seas. That's me on the left!
The most difficult part of this was finally facing that the cruise industry was shutting down for good for the best part of the year and I would have to go home instead of spending the year at sea as I had planned. Since I was let go from my contract with Royal Caribbean.
The two weeks I spent on Liberty of the Seas were by far the hardest of my three months stranded at sea. At this point, I had said goodbye to most of my friends, some of which I don't know if I will ever see again, having built such a strong bond going through this difficult times together. As someone prone to let my thoughts get the best of me at times, I would like to share the tools and practices that helped me climb back up from the dark hole this year buried me in.
Out of a job and stuck in a place I had no intention of being in, with no control whatsoever over my conditions and when I would be able to go back home, which I didn't really want either, after 2 months of having nothing really much to do with my time, which was now 100% free time, and nothing really going for me, I quickly found myself in a constant state of feeling uncomfortable and uncertain about what to do with my time, since no option really enticed me, not even the things that I commonly spend my free time on. And doing nothing would only make my mind fill up with negative thoughts, so I had to work on a strategy to motivate me to perform all sorts of positive actions through the day, small or big that would make me feel fulfilled and with purpose.
And for those out there that don't care for shallow emotional support, fear not, I wanna go in-depth as to why these actions psychologically and sometimes even scientifically will set you up for a win in the game of a positive state of mind. After all depression and stress can be caused by (or cause) an imbalance of our hormones and we have studies to help us harness those elements. Let's take it to our advantage!
Straight away, and in no particular order, I want to mention the most important categories I believe we should focus on when we feel lost, to later touch base on how to work on each:
Coping
Expression
Appreciation
Connection
Excercise
Self Care
Motivation
Read to the end to discover my Number 1 tip for a positive routine, it ties all the other habits together to really achieve those positive goals!
Coping
The first step to work on your feelings is identifying them! We all have different ways of processing our thoughts:
talking to others is my personal go-to: as I hear the words come out of my mouth they become more tangible and I can assess them, what felt honest, what maybe felt a bit dramatic, and so on.
producing art
meditating
having a conversation with oneself
other infinite ways of venting feelings
Naming things allows us to have control over them. Don't stop yourself at "Sad" and "Angry", analyze what things disappointed you, which ones frustrate you, what losses you felt the deepest, and so on. That way you can dissect every part of how you are feeling at the moment and have a conversation with yourself regarding how you will conciliate with each sentiment. For example, if you are frustrated about something out of your control try and convince yourself let it go, remember:
"If you can do something about it, do it. If you can't, let it go".
Personal recommendation:
I like to remind myself that inside of me live two parts, the emotional and the rational sides. When my emotional side is actively suffocating me with negativity I like my rational side to step in and have a talk with her, explain why she should stop those thoughts and even point out they are baseless, which eventually makes my head repeat those dark thoughts less.
Expressing
This one follows directly from my previous point, laying out your feelings can truly help you identify and handle them. We each have different mediums that work best for us.
Writing random quotes that pop in my head really help me see my thoughts on a page, and sometimes remembering good conclusions or words of comfort that I produced for myself.
Doodles also help me keep my mind off the worries, sometimes materializing a feeling with some abstract shapes or a certain kind of stroke.
Another great tool for me is analyzing the situation by making positive and negative lists, especially at the times of making a decision, the classic pro & con list, believe it or not, helped me resolve to go back home.
Personal Recommendation:
Get yourself a notebook to organize your thoughts and having a place to pour anything out your mind.
Appreciate
We all know how hard it is to have positive thoughts when everything that matters seems to be going wrong, the sheer frustration just makes all your other thoughts sour. But remember, we have a rational side that can take over the emotions, focus on observing your surroundings with a clear mind, look at and appreciate those things you usually give for granted, after all the world is full of small things that are worth a smile and feeling thankful.
In my case, I was thankful to be spending my quarantine in such a beautiful place like Coco Cay. Watching a nice view can definitely release some endorphins. I also absorbed all the great vitamin-D I could out that hot Caribbean sun, it really makes you feel great and even a bit tired for a great sleep at the end of the day! Also when going out for food is basically the only thing dragging you out of your room, make that the best time of your day then, a great plate of food will set me up for the day.
Take a moment to observe
Allow yourself to smile at something you would typically give for granted
Enjoy like no one is watching, fling your arms open when a great breeze comes along.
Laugh whenever you can! There's no time like a sad time to allow yourself to be goofy.
Personal Recommendation:
Do you have any special talent like photography, writing, music, or others? Try getting inspired by the beauty around you! It might be a nice view, a refreshing breeze, a soothing sound, the amazing human bonds in your community, and so much more! Find what moves you and inspires you to produce something that communicates.
Connecting
Difficult times are always easier with friends. The simple fact of going together through something will bring people together. Be there for each other for all the points I'm describing here:
Listen to each other
Laugh together
Enjoy what you can, the view, time together.
Share a meal, look forward to organizing some activity
Push each other to improve and to keep up positive habits.
Personal Recommendation:
Go to those that you know are always there for you. Sometimes those who know you for years can read you better than yourself and give you great input. I spend hours on calls with my friends and family back at home and it was invaluable how centered I felt afterward.
Thank you to my awesome Royal Caribbean family and my fellow Argentinians for making me feel part of something greater and that I was not alone!
Excercise
You probably heard it before, but it's simply true! Working out is not only good for all the obvious benefits of being active but at the same time releases positive hormones to your bloodstream, let's analyze the effect:
Weight control, we can all use a bit of that during lockdown!
Improve digestion, sitting around all day, and snaking is not great, moving your body helps get that blood flowing and processing food better.
Ease of sleep, if your mind is clouded with worries, a bit of tiredness can be the perfect ingredient for a good night's sleep, or at least to avoid insomnia.
Dopamine is released, fighting stress and giving you an instant rush of positivity and fulfillment that as well pushes you to keep exercising day after day.
Will bump up your self-esteem! The dopamine rush and the sheer achievement of doing something for your body will literally change the way you look at yourself in the mirror!
Personal recommendation: try out yoga!
With some good relaxing music and actually taking yoga as a mind and body practice and not just as an instagram-worthy activity, you can truly create for yourself a space for your mind to go blank and focus on your body. If you can do it outdoors take the moments of silence and concentration to breathe in the fresh air and appreciate the open sky.
Self Care
Some of the most basic things can turn into a very conscious effort when motivation is lost. Something as simple as a good shower and taking an hour or two to take care of your hair, skin, and body in general can generate all these positive hormones and thoughts we've been discussing. Make a moment out of it, you need it more than ever.
Keep it more present than ever that you deserve to be pampered, don't keep pushing yourself down when you are already down, wearing unflattering clothes and letting yourself go won't make you feel any better about yourself and your situation, only a fierce and well put-together individual can go through the difficulties!
Take a good long shower
Groom yourself
Use those fancy products
Dress up or put together a fun outfit, a pandemic is the right occasion for anything...
Treat yourself to a spa day in lockdown
Allow yourself to eat the tastiest meals, watch out for too much comfort food tho!
Do all those things that make you happy, sometimes going back to being a kid for a moment can release us from much of our adult worries.
Make that comfort purchase if it will give you a reason to smile.
Personal Recommendation:
For me, rocking a cool outfit can help me feel empowered or even express my mood for the day. Play around, be the boss of those things you can control.
Play music to set the mood for the day, uplifting tunes to motivate you out of bed, positive tracks to fill you up with energy for the day as you get ready. Mellow music can help with digestion and stress. If you need to vent some feelings with some edgy music, do so. Meditation music for yoga or mindful moments.
⬇️⬇️ My No.°1 Tip Ahead! ⬇️⬇️
Motivation
The final ingredient to make it all happen, and often the hardest component to find during difficult times. Here is what I believe to be the most important advice of all. At least for me, it was how I finally materialized my efforts and actually started working towards my goals.
Put your goals on paper.
My preferred method: Checklists
As you materialize your goals, expectations and plans they turn into a commitment you set up yourself to achieve. Having a system that allows you to see your progress is the most valuable resource of all. How and why it works?
Laying out your goals helps you keep them in mind through the day and the week. (remember you will need to work on identifying those things that are positive for you)
Having a checklist to fill gives you something extra to look forward to on the day.
The sole fact of grabbing a pen and designing your grid, or wall of goals is a nice artsy project to embark on. Making it beautiful will encourage you to use it and care for it.
Observing what you want to achieve will remind you of all the things that make life worth living personally for you, from the most basic to the most complex.
Set yourself daily goals and long term goals you wish to work on, giving your day structure and your time purpose to work toward these achievements.
When you complete a task you will feel accomplished, releasing dopamine and exciting you to repeat it the next day.
When you don't complete a task you might feel disappointed and encourage you to push harder on the next day as you will crave that achievement.
Personal Recommendation:
Set up yourself to win! A classic sign of depression is difficulty to get out of bed and performing the most basic of tasks, especially when you don't need to face society outside of your house. On your daily checklist include the most basic self-care tasks like brushing your teeth, applying cream and such, let's admit sometimes we can't be bothered about those when all we wanna do is crawl up in a blanket burrito and zone out watching TV. It will either help you complete them or it will be an easy task for you to complete and feel good checking off. If you only put far fetched goals on your list, things you've always wanted to try but never did, there's a big chance you won't either now and you will feel even worse about it, a lot of people will drop a project if it starts off bad so again set yourself good!
Now you are all set up to build a positive mindset, full of motivation to achieve the goals you have put together for yourself after a good deal of introspection. Knowing you deserve all the good things in this world. Get out there and fight stress with chemistry!
Making it back home was the conclusion of a tough road and the beginning of another winding one, but after those months of introspection, I would arrive back to Argentina with a new outlook on things.
That's me on the charter flight being silly with my friends, it was the weirdest "field trip" experience of my life!
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